The Bind

  What binds us to our siblings? To our parents? We grow up with these people: confine ourselves in a house with them, we love them unconditionally. And why? Is it a habit of accustom? Studies have shown that certain phermones and smells emitted by parents bond them to their children, but beyond science there is an unjustifiable bond in family, something so hard to break that even when your family is as scattered as your monster addicted mother's brain after a line, they affect you deeply and irrevocably.
                I just finished reading the book Fallout by Ellen Hopkins. I've read her other books and skimmed through this one, but had not read it in full. Curious to see what happened to Kristina, I picked up the lyrical third book in her much vaunted  series and found that this book follows the lives of her three oldest children. I left Kristina when she was 19, with a one year old child and pregnant with a baby girl. Hunter, her eldest child, lived with her parents at the time. Kristina is going to jail and is at a loss of what to do and Hopkins picks up the story with Hunter, now almost 19.
                 Hunter is struggling with his relationship with his girlfriend, Nikki, and smokes pot (though is not really addicted). He doesn't know who his father is because his grandparents thought it best to not tell that he was a product of rape.

Hopkins then switches to Autumn, Kristina's second oldest child. Autumn has OCD and is living with her paternal grandpa (Trey, Kristina's former boyfriend's, boyfriend's father) and her aunt. Autumn lives a sheltered life, until she meets Bryce. Bryce is her first love, her first sex and her first date all rolled into one.

Finally there is Summer. Summer is living in foster care and has had a tough time. At 12 she was raped by one of her foster parents and has been moved from town to town ever since: a product of one of America's most inept systems. Summer has a boyfriend named Matt but is in love with his best friend, Kyle.*

One thing stood out to me in the book. It is a line from a poem from Summer (about Autumn):

"On the surface she is nothing like me.

But just below the skin,

we find a connection. I shudder

to think why that might be, because

our common denominator is

someone I don't want to resemble."

This line makes me think about what it must be like for the characters, to have a connection to someone which you don't want to have: to have a family you don't want to discover. However, somehow, I feel that these characters are who they are because of this connection. As I stated before, the bond that tethers them to each other is a part of who they are, something that is irrevocable.
                 Take Hunter for example, he feels lonely and left behind by his mother "spinning in a whirlwind of her dust". He craves affection from his girlfriend but it isn't enough. He cheats on her with groupies when she isn't enough. I think that he is searching for someone to fill the hole Kristina created. Because no matter what mother figure in his life tries to fill his hole, she is still not his mother.

Another example of this is Autumn. Autumn has OCD and, although she doesn't say it, she blames it partly on her mother. After all, Kristina was the one who dumped her with her boyfriend's father and never looked back. Autumn has grown up under her Grandpa's micro management and her Aunt's love. Autumn has such a dysfunctional family that she feels that everything else that can be perfect should be. Kristina was the one who left her here, so it's Kristina's fault.

Finally there is Summer. Summer, who has had the worst life of all. Summer, who knows a lot about her past but nothing about her future. Summer, who sees her mother sometimes and always ends up yelling at her. Behind the yelling, though, I see need. Need for stability in her life, need for someone to love her. Maybe this is why she runs away with Kyle. Kyle loves her, or does he? Will Summer get hurt even more? But most of all a Summer who needs a future so badly that she runs so far away that she almost dies. Summer wants to forget so much about the past that she is willing to do anything for the future.

However, though Kristina wrecks havoc through their lives, there is some of Kristina in each of them, whether they know it or not, that unalterable bind that will remain a part of them forever.

*Kristina has two other children who live with her and her boyfriend Ron.

The Real Help

              Recently I re-read the book, "The Help." Made into a major motion picture a year or so ago, "The Help" has become a favored book club read and important book for showing civil rights issues in the mainstream media on the surface, and at first I agreed with that. However, when I re-read the book and looked at some articles on the book, I noticed something different about the book, that it may not be the civil rights darling that I thought it.
               The problem, I and many others, found with the book was that although it was proclaimed to be about black maids in the conservative south essentially liberating themselves and show their strength and bravery, the book only showed that this could happen if a white person stepped in to help. Aibeleen doesn't give any serious thought to changing her life or standing up for herself until Skeeter (a white lady) comes in with the idea for a book exposing the treatment of maids in Jackson, Mississippi. The book shows the struggle for civil rights as being brought about by a white lady, and implies exactly the opposite of the civil rights movement: that african americans cannot help themselves to justice.
              This disconcerted me as the media had marketed as something totally different, and everyone from the Oscar's to the "New York Times" had heralded it as an important book. It made me think about the media today, it doesn't seem to look very deeply into what it is telling us. Based on a lot of what I've read, the media doesn't make you think, it makes you think about what it wants you to think. And this, I believe, is wrong.

The True Want for Happiness

            I just finished the book "The Lady in the Car with the Glasses and a Gun." The book, while somewhat stodgy at first, turned into a delicious thriller with twists and turns so sudden that it was almost impossible to see them coming and an ending that both satiated and hungry the reader. When I last left Dany Longo she had been mysteriously attacked, but that was all that was wrong. But we learn that was only a chip of the iceberg that was her problems on the journey. It seems that wherever Dany goes, people believe they have seen her before, that she has already visited all of the places she's been: the gas station, the Renaissance hotel: the beach: even the cafe she stopped to get an espresso at. But that's not all, Dany opens the trunk to find a dead body of a notorious womanizer of Paris wrapped in a rug and deposited with a gun. Dany attempts to solve the mystery of the man's murder and her apparent escapades about France. When she stumbles upon the answer, her boss attempts to kill her and it is revealed that is was he and his wife who killed the man and attempted to pin it on Dany, so convincingly that Dany believes she did it. Dany hears his story, leaves and gets married to a man in England.
                 The ending seemed strange to me, after all of Dany's adventures, her mental instability and mania: her constant desire to be on her own, how could she just settle down and marry someone? How could her weekend of paranoia and thrills not affect her? But then I realized that the trip was what Dany needed to move on from her "just there" state of being perennially worried for no reason. The trip's insanity was the climax of her madness, the thing that pushed her to the edge. If she had submitted to the mystery and accepted her apparent guilt for the murder and hide the body away, she never would have moved on from the horrible monotony her life held before. By solving the mystery she took an active role against being the victim of circumstance as she had before (her parents death, her lack of funds, her lack of love) and her life turned out much differently. This led her to happiness in the end, as she passed the test of being passive and lacking any zeal for life (as she had been) or being actively involved in her life, not just accepting what was given.
               To conclude, in order for Dany to settle down, and be seemingly "normal." She had to confront the thing about herself that was holding herself back in a finite and important way. She was tested on whether she truly wanted to be happy and, passing this, got everything she wanted.

Symbolism in "The Lady in the Car with the Glasses and a Gun"

           Currently I am halfway through the tantalizing yet somehow dreary book that is, "The Lady in the Car with the Glasses and a Gun." The book takes place sometime in the mid 1900s, in France. The book begins in Paris France, and follows "The Lady" or Dany Longo, as she travels around France on the verge of a psychotic breakdown in a car borrowed from her boss. The book begins with Dany emerging from a state of unconsciousness in a gas station bathroom after being attacked. However, the only thing the attacker did to her was break her hand, her money is all there and nothing else has been damaged. We are then taken to the days preceding her attack and focus in on the day it happened, showing us the circumstances of her ordeal.
             The book is rife with symbolism, its title in itself states the books three biggest symbols. Number one, the car. The car is a symbol of Dany's weakness for luxury and the downfall that is in her longing for more than what is given to her. When Dany lived at the orphanage, being able to drive MOther "Supe" Superior around in the car is what gave her a little bit of freedom, a little bit of pleasure that was not found in her everyday life. THe car she has borrowed from the boss fits this perfectly, the luxury car she is temporarily allowed to have, but leads her to break the rules of the loan and keep the car for longer. In other words, her love for the things above her station is what leads her to her downfall.
              Number two, the glasses. Dany wears darkened prescription glasses at all times, she believes they protect her from the world. To me, they symbolize both her inverted-ness,  her painful shyness and the subtle narcism that comes from such an inverted state of being. The idea that she is mysterious that she is inapproachable is selfish in that she is just trying to get out of the difficult situations that occur when she tries to be social. She would rather withdraw from all humans and pretend to be mysterious and aloof than face the pain that comes from interacting with people. The glasses symbolize how selfish yet helpless she really is. It is these weaknesses, symbolized by the Car and the Glasses that lead her to her attack.
              As I am only halfway through the book, I have not gotten to the section devoted to the Gun, and I don't think that the Lady symbolizes anything but Dany herself. However, there were two other symbols for parts of Dany's life that led her to the attack that I noticed.
               One of these was the Pink Elephant that was on her desk, lined up with all of her typing supplies. It symbolizes Dany's childhood. When he proposes the job offer to Dany, her boss moves the elephant from the line. This symbolizes him giving her an opportunity to move on from her childlike existence and become a more mature adult. He is giving her an opportunity to prove herself. Dany at first moves it back and refuses the job, but then realizes that she should take it as it means more money and takes it with her to give to his daughter. She is ready to pass it along and let go of her childhood. However, Dany forgets it and does not get to give it to the little girl. This symbolizes that she can't let go of her childhood just yet and her infantile behavior leads her into the trouble she is now facing.
                The last important symbol I noticed in "The Lady in the Car with the Glasses and a Gun" is the symbolism of the white suit. The white suit symbolizes Dany's hope for the future: her good intentions and her remaining innocence. Like the car it is luxe, but also sensible, which refutes the fault in it. However, the suit gets progressively ruined over the course of the book, showing that Dany's hopes will be dashed and that her intentions will not lead to good results. And that, like the idea of keeping a white suit clean over a journey, her hopes are unrealistic.
                 To conclude, there is much symbolism in the book "The Lady in the Car with the Glasses and a Gun," and it makes for an interesting story if you are willing to look deeply enough.
           

Underlying Themes in The Sweet Far THing

              I have just finished reading the last book in the "Gemma Doyle Trilogy," "The Sweet Far Thing." These books were so addictive and fast paced that I only took a week to go through all of the cumulative 17 hundred plus pages of the trilogy. On the "surface" the book was a Gothic, set at a traditional English girls boarding school, isolated with mysterious gargoyles and churches... And don't forget woods! Filled with Gypsies and mysterious noises and magical powers, alternative universes (the bad: The Winterlands, and the good, The Realms) the "Gemma Doyle Triogy" had all the trappings of a trashy Gothic romance. However, it also embedded some deeper themes into its passionate, tragic, fantastical tale.
             One of the themes was women's rights. Hyped constantly throughout the trilogy and emphasized in nearly every chapter, the author Libba Bray obviously had the intent to educate her readers on the plight of women in England. One example were the factory girls, burned in a fire to save money, they rejected the male voice of the Winterlands (Amar) and instead formed their own clan with the female Pippa. I saw this as Bray telling girls to not count on men in all endeavors and be independent. In addition, Bray increasingly mentioned the presence of female suffragettes in London as Gemma and her friends traveled to and began to explore the city. It was not really apparent how the suffragettes contributed to the narrative, if not to just underline the theme of women's rights. But the greatest push for women's rights in the books came from the idea of the realms themselves, utopias where women could rule and be powerful (obviously a metaphor for what they hoped the future would be). Felicity learned how to shoot arrows and be powerful there, Gemma found the magic within herself in the realms-Women could be independent!
        Much like when mothers sneak vegetables in deserts for picky children, the women's rights theme was very obvious once you actually noticed it, and it made parts of the books hard to read as all you could see it as all you could see was the propaganda-like details that Bray included (no matter how much I agreed with it). One such moment in the book was in the very end, where Gemma demands that   the young ladies of Spence finishing school actually be taught "worthwhile things" so they can be intelligent and independent. Another moment was Gemma spurning the idea of staying and attending her season in England, and instead traveling to New York.
              Too conclude, the books were very obviously a push for women's rights, and their non-subtlety ruined any impact they might have. Although I agreed with the idea and Gemma's actions, their conspicuousness nullified their impact

The Ones Who Built the Fire

            Today I decided to take yet another trip down memory lane and revisit the girl who was on fire, who is still on fire in the minds of some. Yes, you know who I'm talking about, Katniss Everdeen.

            You've all heard of Katniss Everdeen. She's the girl who survived the hunger games. Twice. She the subject of the love of two desirable guys. She is a deadly weapon disguised as a human girl. She is confused, she is hurt. She is lovesick and furious, dangerous and sad. She hates humanity, she loves it. She is a turmoil of emotions. She confides in no one. Not even her parents. family. When you read this your mind probably flashed to your own. Annoying dad, patronizing mom, we all know the story. However, you probably have memories of hugs, words whispered to you at the dead of night when you are scared of the dark. Kisses dropped on your skinned knee. Parents are meant to love you. You can confide in your parents, and hopefully they will help you. However, Katniss, who has been through so much, doesn't confide in her parents. Rereading the Hunger Games, I looked closer into the dynamics of Katniss' relationship with her parents, the ones who built the fire that would become a powerful inferno.

        First, I looked at Katniss' mother. The book never mentions her name, is this a reference to how removed she is from Katniss' life? Well, she certainly is removed, ever since Katniss' mother fell into depression, Katniss is filled with mistrust for her mom. I think that Katniss and her mother should have worked harder to rebuild their relationship. Though no one could fathom that Katniss would have to compete in the Hunger Games, life in district 12 is tough, and a 16 year old girl needs someone to confide in. I think that things could have worked out better for Katniss if she and her mother confided in each other. If Katniss had talked to someone about her tepid relationship with Gale, maybe she would have felt less guilty about kissing Peeta. If Katniss had talked with her mother during the time she spent in district thirteen, maybe she would have been more mentally stable. And if she and her mom had had a better relationship, she might of had someone to support her when Prim died. Instead, Katniss began a descent into madness. Everyone knows that mothers baby you sometimes. Katniss was never babied. She always had to be mature and responsible, way beyond her years. Katniss was resentful of this, it turned her into the hardened killer who won the 74th Hunger games. And as she has said many times, "no decent person ever wins the games."

          Then there's Katniss' father. The one who died when Katniss was 11. If Katniss' father was alive, then the story might not have happened. Mr.Everdeen would have been the main hunter for the Evergreens and Katniss would not have to shoulder that responsibility. Mr. Everdeen would have put food on the table and cared for his daughters. If Katniss' dad was still alive, Katniss' mother would've never fallen into depression, causing Katniss and her mother to still get along. Katniss loved her father, he would have counseled her to the best decisions, and she would have felt safe. On the other hand if Katniss' father lived, she wouldn't have had all of the opportunities to practice hunting, as he would have been the main hunter. Also, Katniss wouldn't have become so hard and invincible. She wouldn't have been the vicious killer who won the games.

            There's no denying that parents are annoying, but they give you more help than you give them credit for. Supporting parents can help so much in a time of need. If Katniss had had a different parental situation, her life would be so much different. Katniss needs her parents, she just doesn't know it. And even though Katniss thinks she has more romantic love than she needs, she needs some parental love too.

The Blind Spot

               Recently I have started reading "1984" by George Orwell. The book is set in 1984, but an imagined one. Orwell wrote the book in the 1940s, so it is an imagined chronology of 1984. And what a different 1984 it is! Orwell writes of a supremest regime ruled by Big Brother, a tyrannical leader who is both worshipped and feared by all. To instill this fear and monitor the devotion Big Brother has installed devices in all houses that can record movement and hear audio that are almost like television. He has set up a vast government with communist-like coupons for food and clothing divided equally. The country (The novel takes place in London) is almost always at war with one country or the other and a new shorter language (Newspeak) is slowly leeching the English language of its adjectives and adverbs. The  book focuses on Winston Smith who works in the Ministry of "Truth," erasing all of Big Brothers false speeches and predictions and making them correct. However, Smith secretly writes in a diary about Big Brother's regime and his stifled hatred of the regime in a spot blind to the monitor, a deed easily punishable by death. It is the former sentence, I believe, that causes the latter.
            I think that the reason Smith is so different than his Big Brother fearing peers is his very job. Unlike Smith's friend, Syme, who diligently and enthusiastically purges English and replaces it with Newspeak, Smith's job is not to improve upon the regime or add to it, it is to erase its mistakes and clean up after it. Smith is constantly being exposed to Big Brother's mistakes and the very proof of his vulnerability.
           Big Brother has worked very hard at establishing himself as almost a God, the almighty power that can see everything you're doing. And the devotion that "God" inspires in his followers is almost matched by Big Brother's "subjects." However, this image is marred by the fact that he is still human and does make mistakes such as predicting an over-production of goods when there was actually a loss. And since Smith is the one who actually realizes that Big Brother makes these mistakes, he can never see Big Brother as his other comrades do. It is this realization that prods Smith to hate Big Brother, which comes from seeing who he actually is, not some propaganda-ed hero.
            This proves one of the most timeless causes of revolution, which I believe the book is leading to, information. When information is present, people can interpret it for themselves without someone else telling them what to think of it. Information helps people think for themselves and back up their suspicions and opinions. This is why Smith has the capacity to hate Big Brother, he has the information to do so. This is the regime's blind spot.

The Death Issue

              Once upon a time, I attempted to write a novel. I bought a leather-bound maroon book with gold trim and lined paper and told myself I would scribe until the end of the volume and publish it (in the process becoming rich and famous and getting a dog). I was six. Needless to say I did not make it to the end of that book. In fact I only finished about 20 pages in my huge first grade block letters. The book was about two friends who grew apart, but got back together  due to an elaborate plan and some minor animal kidnapping. The girls, named Anika and Sophie, were my dream alter-egos. They had their own rooms, pets and had delicious things like mac and cheese for dinner, and whipped cream and waffles for breakfast. They were talented (Sophie was a dancer, Anika drew), smart, pretty, basically perfect in every way. But that's what happens in the idyllic world of children's books, everything works out and everyone is special. Its so different from the YA books of today with their death, rape and social destruction-al themes. And transitioning between the happiness of early picture books to the disparaging works that fill my current shelves was one of the most eye-opening moments of my life.
                    Death becomes more integrated into the books we read as we get older, no longer just belonging to sickly animals or ancient grandparents. As death extends its dark reach to our teenage heroes and heroines, we wonder just how vulnerable we are. John Green informs us about cancer, Laurie Halse Anderson tells us about bulimia, Ellen Hopkins opens up our world to drugs. To the closeted reader that I am, books are a way to soak up the impossible and the all to possible. Books are the doorways and manuals to things I have yet to experience, and death is such a huge part of that.
                Where do we go? So many volumes have tried to address this inevitability. What religion doesn't tell us, stories make up, or sometimes refute the teachings of old. Heaven. Hell. What is even the difference? Elsewhere, a charming yet borderline creepy book, tells us we will be reborn as young children, perhaps addressing the degradation of our society and of ourselves. The Golden Compass, or to be more specific the Amber Spyglass, speaks of the dead, shadows in a barren land. The idea of this anomaly troubles me, for although when we were little death was a peaceful slumber, I now know the unknown lays beyond.
                 How will we die? Of course we don't know now, how would life work if we just counted the hours we had left in this world? Books have addressed this issue and more. But back to the question. The Hunger Games teaches us about our inner savages, waiting for the right venue to explode, the potential for violent ends in all of us. The Fault in Our Stars tells us of a different kind, a languishing death, so poignantly slow and painful that it almost hurts to read. Conrad sought suicide in Impulse and found "eternal rest." And others still teach us about the sudden death that occurs via car or crashing wave, unbeknownst until its too late. These different means expose us to both the horrors surrounding us and those within. All waiting until something falls into place and we vacate this world.
              So death surrounds us, and books have taught us that. Exposing some to that which was not imaginable and warning others about their paths. Innocent childhoods stolen by death, lust, greed. They're gone. For me it was books that took away my innocence and opened so many doors. And to think people say that teenagers feel like they're invincible; I feel closer to the grave than ever.

Paternal Ramifications

           Over spring break, as any teen with my ardor for the written word would do, I read many books. As my friends had scattered to various parts of the world to sojourn in various hotels and houses, I simply lay in my bed and devoured every book available online for free and the books my mother brought me from the library, as well as some old favorites. Among these volumes were the "Pretty Little Liars" series and "Looking for Alaska."
           As anyone who has read these books can tell, they are very different from each other. So dissimilar that it would seem fairly impossible to imply that they had any significant similarities other than they are all about teenagers. The former is about a group of wealthy teenagers living in suburban Philedelphia finding themselves and building their friendships and relationship amid the ongoing murder investigation of their best friend and threatening notes from the mysterious "A." The latter, "Looking for Alaska," is about a teenage boy named Miles finding "the great perhaps" in a Alabama boarding school aided by the Colonel (a brilliant scholarship student with a penchant for planning), Lara, Takumi and Alaska Young ( a sad, clever and beautiful girl searching for her way out of the "labyrinth" after the death of her mother).  One thing that stood out to me with all of these books is the effect of a father figure to the main characters.
           The paternal figure is often thought of as a mentor to boys, but they have an equal impact on their daughters. For example, in the "Pretty Little Liars" series, protagonist Hanna is prodded back into her eating disorder due to her father's new step daughter who "wears a size two!" Hanna even expresses this to her dad, saying, that she is "like a size two...I'm huge!" This is even though Hanna is thought to be thin by her peers. Her father does not respond, furthering her self esteem issues and pushing her deep into a cycle of bulimia and bad relationships. Another girl in the series pushed into bad relationships by her fathers actions is another protagonist Aria Montgomery. After Aria saw her Dad cheating on her Mom, he made her promise not to tell, which she kept for almost three years. When the clandestine affair goes public, Aria gets romantically involved with a teacher, saying, "I was vulnerable and he was there." Her fathers pressuring and extra-marital affairs got her into trouble, her boyfriend arrested and herself alienated.
              In "Looking for Alaska" the protagonist is named Miles, but the subject of the book is (arguably) Alaska Young. Miles is smitten and describes her as effortlessly beautiful, charismatic, intense, charismatic and troubled. Not the archetypal beautiful girl, but definitely worth obsessing over, in his opinion. Alaska's impulsiveness evidenced by her sudden desires to kiss or drive recklessly, is revealed to be caused by her believed causation of her mother's death. Her father reportedly blames her for her mother's demise and she lives with this imposed guilt everyday. It is also this guilt, I believe, that makes Alaska eventually die as she speeds towards her mother's grave after she forgot the anniversary of the death. If her father had made a connection with her after her mothers's death or attempted to remedy his accusations of fault made years ago, Alaska may not have felt such pressure to get to the grave and die.
             I have a relatively healthy relationship with my father. Because my parents are divorced, I get to see him more often one on one and, I believe, get to know him a little better than my friends and their fathers whose parents are still together. However, what someone's relationship with their father is supposed to be is hard to define. What anyones relationship with anyone else is supposed to be is also unclear. Should there be such definitions, such boundaries? How close is too close and how far is to far? These are questions that must be answered on a case by case basis, for as seen in these books, fathers definitely affect so much more than just their children.

The Weakness of the Inner Sanctum

              I recently finished reading the book "Picture Perfect" by Jodi Picoult. It was the first of her novel that I have read that was not a murder mystery. This reeled me in because the aspect that I usually find most appealing about her books is the fact that she integrates the technicalities of a murder trial with the heart wrenching backstory. Putting in stark contrast the emotional bloody throbbing of human nature with the cold, measured precision of courtroom proceedings. When picking up the book, I expected it to be derivative of these earlier books, but it was extremely different.
            "Picture Perfect" follows the tale of Cassie Barret. Or should I say, Cassie Rivers. Cassie is intelligent, mildly attractive, sensible and quiet in mien but what sets her apart from most women is that she is married to the most famous movie star in the United States, Alex Rivers. This is not to say that they have a perfect life. Oh no, Cassie is haunted by dreams of her childhood best friend, whom she watched die and her alcoholic mother, while Alex still cannot separate himself from the boy whose father forced him to "be a man" by spending days in snake infested bayous and earning bruises in New Orleans. In fact, the reason that Alex became an actor, as Picoult basically tells us, is to escape the person who he has become. That he does not know how to be someone decent, and this tortures him. Tortures him so much, in fact, that it leads him to brutally beat Cassie for something as benign as leaving his sneakers (of which he has many pairs as he is a star of epic proportions) outside. Cassie "escapes" by running away with her new friend (and possibly romantic interest?) Will Flying Horse to his families' reservation in South Dakota. But eventually returns to Alex, only to "leave him for good."
                If you could not tell by the tone of my summary, the book disgusted me. Its not to say that JOdi Picoult's books are the epitome of valid and layered adult fiction, but she is better than the trash I found myself reading. For one, Cassie and Alex's love story was not believable. They "got married six weeks after {they} met," and Cassie became totally integrated into his life as a movie star. They had the perfect wedding in Tanzania with all movie star trappings and moved back to Alex's mansion. There were no minute details to make it believable or even plausible. And even while I cringed at Cassie's beatings, it repulsed me how spineless she was, how SHE apologized to this man who broke her ribs for breaking a glass. How even after moving away for six months, she still returned to his side, a shadow that moved with him wherever he went. She continued to shape her form around his needs, becoming more of him than of her. I tried to understand  by comparing it to an addiction, you have to never have another drink of snort again to be completely clean, you can't let yourself slip up like Cassie did.
              But I guess I don't understand love, I can't fathom any emotion that would make Cassie come back; any gift. How can Cassie still call Alex her love? her other half? One can never fully trust someone again after they have damaged you so completely. There is an irrevocable difference between what has come before, and what life will proceed as. Cassie is spineless, and she has dug her own grave. By refusing to get out of her abusive entanglement with Alex she has sacrificed herself, her innermost sanctum to his wills and promises. And while her neck is "hung with a necklace of purple bruises" what is most violated is her soul.

Playing with Power

There is blood, so much blood beneath the polished facade of the Peoples Revoltutionary Council. Blood of the people of Sessamekesh, blood of fellow government officials and most of all, the blood of the royal line. An army uniform is a good hiding place for a snake. And a snake that hides well, in the case of General Citizen and his guards. In the book, Pathfinder by Orson Scott Card, many such snakes hide or come to light depending on the skill and rank of the uniform that is its host. However the thing is, in governments, there are usually many snakes. So what happens when there are too many of these reptilian miscreants in a room? The snakes kill! Behind the analogy of this post and the many subtle metaphors in the book, an underlying theme in Orson Scott Card's creation is the power struggles and revolts within the corrupt structure known as the "people's government. Which is not so aptly named as the "people" do not realized what "their" government was up to.

               One example of this theme is General Citizen. When Rigg is arrested by General Citizen, he begins to trust the solid, clever and almost fatherly figure in his crumbling life. What Rigg doesn't know about General Citizen is where his loyalties lie. This uncertainty and slight vagaries about his general person make Rigg find it hard to believe that the General is totaly on the government's side. It turns out Rigg is partially right about General Citizen, he is actually working with Rigg's mother, the former queen Hagia Sessamin, to overthrow the People's Government and return the royals to power in Sessamekesh. After finding this out, Rigg trusts Hagia and Citizen and this turns out to be his downfall. Already the corruption of youth and not only government is apparent in the book: a boy cannot trust his mother because of the power struggles in the government. Rigg has been through so much in his life, but this still takes him by surprise, although he does not say this outright. As the male heir to the royal throne he expects some plotting towards him, but not the backstabbing of his own mother. Up until this moment Hagia's actions have seen maternal and she has expressed the desire to become a "true mother." But Hagia bearly knows Rigg so she justifies her actions as secluded from her hormones. I think that Rigg's mother is drunk with the idea of ruling the empire so she forgets her love for family and exchanges it with a lust for power,   a common theme that the royal house has fallen for for. Their possesions have been taken from them, they are at the mercy of the common people. No wonder Hagia Sessamin wants to break out.

                 Correlating with this fictional government, common theme in historic governments has been power struggles.I compare this book to the movie J. Edgar. As much as this movie is, obviously, about the head of the FBI himself (J. Edgar Hoover), it is also a movie about political manuevers, personal and proffesional relationships and the thirst for power that encompasses almost all of us. This is evidenced as General Citizen and Hagia Sessamin are supposedly in love, which is why Hagia chose him to lead the revolt.  This correlates with the relationship between Hoover and his assistant Clyde Tolson as depicted in the movie. Is it romantic? Political? There are many disagreements about these two men, but one thing is certain. Their relationship affected Hoover in some way and his politics which sparked controversy and much criticism. In my opinion, I think that you know you are in trouble when leaders make important decisions based on personal relationships.

Power is a huge player in any organization or even family. Who holds the power, what they do with it and how are all extremely crucial to any group. This is why the power struggles in Pathfinder are such a huge part of the book. In a corrupt government, power is the chief prize. Hagia and Citizen both hope to gain power and Rigg is caught up in the middle. I guess there is always power to be taken, but it is you who must decide whether to use it for good or bad.

Sonnet

A mirror: a bottomless, faceless plane

A faithful audience for which to vogue

An alter upon which tears fall like rain

A ruler of impressions: none go rogue

An endless love affair: thankless and cruel

Thank god mirror impressions are fleeting

You are boiled down to naught but gruel

A slew of flaws with one chair seating

But what of beauty? Impressions pleasing

Showing your countenance fully in bloom

A tantalizing glance, mirror teasing

Where high self esteem and pride now assume

A tool for your id, measures volume; mass

Yet what is this fateful mirror but glass

Claudette Colvin: An Unheard Shout

         Recently I finished the book Claudette Colvin: Twice Toward Justice by Phillip Hoose. I had been devoid of reading material after I finished the books on my kindle and was wanting for some new stories to sweep me up into their fantastical and implausible world where everything turns right in the end and the characters either always know exactly what to say or turn muteness and societal awkwardness into something worth reading about. I picked up this book thinking that it was the fictional antidote to my boredom but found something entirely different. Claudette Colvin: Twice Toward Justice was about a civil rights figure, a pioneer, who stood up for her rights and spurred the segregated African American community of Montgomery Alabama by refusing to . And all at the age of 16. However, Colvin did not stop there, even after facing a difficult teenage pregnancy with a married man, Colvin struck out at segregation again when she was asked by lawyer Fred Gray to testify in the groundbreaking trial Browder vs. Gayle. I was shocked. It wasn't because I had thought the book to be fictional, but because I had never heard of her before.
              In Social Studies lessons on segregation and the civil rights movement Rosa Parks is the name most referred to, or even little Ruby Bridges, commonly known as the first black child to attend a white school. I have admired these people all my life, but Claudette Colvin was a teenager like myself and broke barriers 9 months before Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on the bus. I think the reason why Colvin is so unknown today is because she was a teenager. Teenagers were known to be unruly and irrational. Therefore it was easy for white people to ignore as just another rash act by a black teenager rather than a formal protest for her rights and a stand for her people. While this was the reason that many whites ignored it, I also believe that the african american community did not want a teenager at the face of their civil rights movement as teenagers are changeable and not recognized as conscious and educated adults that a court of law might take seriously. As Hoose states in the book, "{Rosa Parks} wasn't a teenager....{or} feisty and emotional as Claudette was rumored to be..." Both of these subtle motivations probably prompted her fading away into the back pages of history books, as well as the fact that she got pregnant right afterwards and, in her words, "they all {the NAACP} turned their backs on me when I got pregnant." Claudette herself felt bitter at the time and remembers thinking, "Hey I did that {refusing to give a seat to a white person on the bus} months ago and everybody dropped me."
                I think that teenagers not being respected as valid members of society and having their actions dismissed as merely hormonal or rebelliousness is a problem in todays society and was a problem even back then. Young people have important things to say and they deserve to be heard. Dismissing someone just because they are young is not only insulting (as Colvin felt), but also damaging to a society that might have benefited from the ideas spoken.  Rosa Parks might have been a better candidate for spurring the Montgomery bus boycott of 1955-6 because she was "widely known as an activist," "respected by both the black professional class and ordinary workers," "light skinned but not white," "and struck almost everyone she met as a contained, pleasant, committed and levelheaded individual," but I believe that Claudette did not deserve her chameleon like status as someone who was not important. I am so glad that this book was written so that the world can know of her heroism and courage, even though she was a teenager.

Is it Logical to Love?

I was listening to "Winter Song" by Sara Boreallis and Ingrid Michealson today. It was a lovely day and I had just finished a new book, House Rules by Jody Picoult. House Rules is a book about a 18 year old boy who is charged with the murder of his social skills teacher. Now, you may as well ask, why would an 18 year old boy need a social skills tutor? The answer is that Jacob (the boy) has been diagnosed with Asbergers syndrome. Aspergers is "an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) that is characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction, alongside restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests" according to Wikipedia. Aspergers, in terms of how it is presented in the book, makes Jacob take everything literally. For example, if you told Jacob that his story tore your heart up, he would respond by explaining to you that one cannot tear one's heart into pieces; because you would need a knife and you did not have one. In addition and due to this, Jacob cannot read social cues. For example, Jacob could talk for about 10 minutes about dinosaurs and if you said "oh look at the time!" in an attempt to escape the conversation, he would plough right on. He would not see that he is boring you. All of these factors add up to make him seem more than a bit odd to other people.

 Perhaps Jacob's most obvious symptoms of Asbergers, however, is the fact that he does not show any other emotion that anger when he does not get what he wants. When Jacob is informed that his tutor has died, Jacob says "Okay." Nothing more, nothing to show how if he missed her, the closest friend he had. When asked why he did not show any emotion, Jacob replies that his showing of emotions would not help anybody and that he knew he was sad so what was the point of showing it? Everyone in the book thinks that Jacob is a freak because he doesn't show emotion, however, I think that Jacob just has an overactive sense of logic. This means that he doesn't show emotion because the logic in his head tells us that there is no point. For most of us, our logic is nullified by grief and we cry and express our emotions. However, Jacob's body tells him this would be a waste of energy and would not benefit anybody. However, what his machine of a body has overlooked is that his showing of grief would have comforted his mother and brother. It would have showed them that he was a human being, something that they are always hoping for.

I compared this to Winter Song, the music I was listening to as I finished the book. In Winter Song a line says, "They say that things just cannot grow, beneath the winter snow. Or so I have been told." I took this to mean that in the coldness and hardness of winter, emotions such as love cannot thrive. I think that Jacob's Aspergers is like snow. I think that this is because he is so seemingly unfeeling- cold to love, and logical. His overactive sense of  logic, due to his Aspergers only cares about facts and measurements. Love does not play into logic, because it cannot be measured exactly and it seems he cannot feel it.  Most evidence points to the line being true, that love cannot exist under Jacob's disease, yet this is only how it seems on the outside. However, "beneath the winter snow," Jacob obviously cared about Jess, his tutor. He logically figured out that, due to his responses to Jess, he loved Jess. However, his logical body does not allow him to acknowledge this love, and therefor the grief that goes along with it. Pe

Logic vs. Love. Its such an interesting comparison. Much of the time it seems such opposites cannot be allowed to coexist in the spectrum of humanity. There are many books that deal with logic versus love, without the Aspergers element. However, in most of these books, the main character gets over his/her logical side and learns to love. What makes House Rules different is, the Aspergers element, the thing that makes it impossible for him to get over himself and love. I feel sorry for Jacob, love is a great thing. His snowy disease sounds like so much of a burden, and doesn't realize what he's missing. However, spring comes after winter. I hope that someday even though it is probably not possible, Jacob's snow will melt and spring will come.

Why Did They Get Into Heaven?

            I just finished reading "A Proud Taste For Scarlett and Miniver" by E.L Koningsburg. The book opens on a cloud in Heaven. Right away it becomes a little controversial. Heaven is a hotly debated topic: does it exist? is there a hell? how do you get there? is it eternal? is it nice? Koningsburg explains that this heaven is known as "Up." No one gets "up" right away, most have to spend some time in hell, to atone for any sins they made on Earth. Although Koningsburg does not go into what happens in Hell, she reveals that you cannot watch what is going on on Earth, while you can in Heaven.
               The people sitting on the cloud in Heaven are Empress Matilda, The Honorable Knight Sir William, Abbot Suger  and last, but certainly not least, Queen Eleanor of Aquitane. They are waiting for the arrival of Eleanor's husband, King Henry of England. Henry is to be judged on whether he can leave Hell and move "Up." Eleanor and Henry died not long apart, but Henry has sent more time in Hell, atoning for his sins. While they wait, the company discusses how Eleanor came to meet Henry, starting with Abbot Suger. Suger recalls the meeting of Eleanor and her first husband Louis. He tells of Louis' transition from a nice and ambitious young man to a pious and disillusioned king. He explains how Eleanor met Louis and married him. Empress Matilda (Louis' mother) takes over and explained Eleanor's happier and prosperous time with Henry, but then how he got too controlling and had an affair. She also recalls the beginning of Eleanor's orchestrated rebellion of her sons against him, after he took her lands. Sir william finishes up the story by telling of the death of Eleanor's sons, how Eleanor was locked up, and how she finally won. The book finishes with Henry arriving up, with Eleanor's sons.
                There is a saying, "Behind every great man there is a great woman." This is proven true in the book "A Proud Taste for Scarlett and Miniver." The dynamic between Eleanor and her husbands is reflected in how her husband rules his kingdom. Eleanor had a lot of power as queen of France and then England. Although her husbands had advisors, it was she who held the power to their happiness, and could influence him at his most vulnerable moments. Her power is evidenced several times in the book. When the first Louis, "Louis the fat" dies, Eleanor leaps into action making sure that she and Louis are known as King and Queen, which results in many people paying homage and helping assert their dominance. Eleanor is behind all of Louis's decisions, she tells him that he needs more lands and he goes out and fights wars to conquer them. As Abbot Suger says, "He listens to her instead of his conscience."
                This trend continues with her second husband, King Henry. When they are married, they are extremely happy and the land reflects that. Henry takes questions from the people and endeavors to please them, as he endeavors to please Eleanor. They travel around together and assess each land and England prospers enormously. However, when Henry and Eleanor fall out England plunges into wars and the people are not happy with the endless shedding of blood. When Eleanor exacts revenge onto her husband for having an affair, she takes Aquitane and holds it ransom. It is not right for monarchs to use their lands and people as pawns in their personal quarrels, in my opinion, but it also proves how much power Eleanor has over her husband. She knows he will stop at nothing to get the land back.
              They are all selfish, powerful and scheming but they are England so the land must obey them. Maybe the saying should go, "Behind every war ravaging man there is a selfish woman." I really don't understand why they are allowed in Heaven.

Then and Now

                I just finished racing the book "The Diviners" by Libba Bray. Bray is one of my favorite authors as she conquers the world of historical fiction with a surprisingly current and relevant to readers today. This is what makes historical fiction great, the idea of an almost fantastical time where things weren't quite as they are today but still relatable. From reading last books from Bray and other Historical Fiction authors such as the wonderful authors of the American Girl books that I thoroughly perused as ages 7-10, I know that problems of today often correlate closely with the problems of those in years past. For example, although Samantha wanted a china doll in the year 1907 and I wanted a Tamagachi in the year 2009, we still had to beg our respective elders for the toys and be "good" in order to earn them from our parents. The same goes for books as I grew older. Although Grace was trying to earn money for new shoes in victorian london and I was trying to earn money for eating lunch out in 21st century new york, we both felt the unfairness of job options available to a 12 year old and the little monetary gain that could be earned.

                  This brings us to my current book, "The Diviners." The Diviners takes place in the "roaring '20s" in New YOrk. A girl named Evie arrivers from small town Alabama ready to take in the wonders and pleasures of New York. A boy named Memphis works for the Boss of Harlem, collecting illegal lottery tickets while taking care of his younger brother Isiah. A chorus girl named Theta is hoping to forget her past with the help of closeted Henry, her "younger brother." And a giant of a man named Jericho is used to hiding his secrets, until he meets a girl who could untie them all. And all across the city murders are occurring. Murdeurs that correlate with a secret extremest religion, founded long ago who sought to bring hell and the anti-christ, the "beast" onto Earth. The murders are gruesome, arranged like texts in the book of Revelations to the tune sung creepily by the murderer.

"Naughty John, Naughty John, Does his work with an apron on, Cuts your throat and takes your bones, sells 'em off for a coupla stones."




And it is only the aforementioned people, with their extraordinary powers such as seeing into the future or becoming invisible can help.

                 

           Funnily enough I likened this experience to High School, or what is going to be the high  school experience for me. New York City is huge, scary and inviting all rolled up into one irresistible package. Like the characters in the book, I am drawn to the opportunities and sights the city affords, things I will see in my journeys to schools in Manhattan and the like. The book starts off not telling us how these characters are related to each other, just that they are all special and hoping to make it in New York. I think that this relates to the many students across New York City, all different and all hoping to go to the school they want, to become someone special and more than they already are. No matter what time we find characters in, they all want to succeed and hope NYC will help them get there. The gifts that each character has in the books also relate to the students of my year. We are all talented in some way, be it artistically or academically or even something that can not be measured. We all have something about us that makes us unique.

                Its true, times have changed. We now ride in subway cars as opposed to trolleys on the street. But one thing is for certain, people, at least not on the surface, have changed very little