Encoded

            I just finished reading the book Code Name- Verity by Elizabeth Wein. The book takes place during World War Two in various places across England and France. The book starts as a first person narrated tale. We don't know who the narrator is, but we can assume she is a girl, probably around 17-23 based on her tales of school, her vocabulary, and her job. The job, we find, is spying as she says that she was "under-cover" and that she was chosen for her aptitude for "making up stories" and "blending into a crowd." But this journal is not from the point of view of a spy on a mission, it is an account of treason, betrayal, and most of all loyalties. The narrator is trapped in a Nazi prison, under the watchful eyes of the Gestapo (the "police" who enforce Fuhrer Hitler's decrees). She has just emerged from four days of torture that includes being held underwater until she fainted, being burned with a red hot poker and being hit and lashed with various instruments. However, she has made a deal with the Gestapo captain von Linden. She will write everything she knows about the British war effort in an account in exchange for an end of the torture. She also buys back her clothing with eleven sets of British wireless code. The narrator feels extremely guilty and awful about giving away the code and details, but we are shown that she feels the endless torture she could have endured, like her fellow prisoners who scorn her treason, would be unbearable. She begins to tell the story of her friend Maddie who flew her into france employing novelistic techniques and bargaining for more time all the way, while her desperation in response for her imminent departure to a concentration camp grows.
            I had mixed feelings about the narrator, it seemed she was a vain and dull girl. In exchange for the codes she could have bargained for her freedom or asked for food. Instead she says that she is content to be interrogated starving and dirty, if she gets to wear clothes. Also, she does not seem extremely guilty about giving up the code or her accounts after the initial mention she puts down in her account. This makes me think about her character role as a heroine. Is she a heroine who has endured torture and survived? or is she a weaker character who gives in quickly? It does not seem to fit. Another   missing puzzle piece was her intelligence. In the account of her friend Maddie's travels and career she speaks of herself in third person, as "Queenie." Queenie is smart and adept, she is calm under pressure and very clever and confidant. Queenie does not sound at all like the narrator who strikes me as dumb or at least shallow. Also, all across the story, random lines are underlined. Very little of the story sounds believable.
          Then the tale cuts to Maddie and suddenly everything makes sense. The eleven sets of wireless code were false sets that connected to dead radios. The radios were shown in pictures of the wreckage of the plane she flew in on, given to her to convince her that Maddie was dead. The account was fake, she wasn't really guilty about the code or even as shallow as she seemed. The journal was just feeding von Linden another identity, to make him trust her. Maddie tracks down von Linden's house keeper and gets the journal, which she realizes has information about how to find her prison and how to get the prisoners out. We find out that when "Queenie" says "red is her color" (referring to her watch guard) she means that the underlined red passages were made by the guard, who is risking everything to help "queenie."
           Wein takes us on a journey with the characters. We as the readers are not omniscient, we are fooled along with von Linden and the Gestapo as to the character of "Queenie." It takes Maddie's piercing and logical gaze to lend us the sight to see who she really is.  Although the book is confusing because of this, it also makes it unforgettable. Wein's book is  made tenfold more interesting and arresting than if she had let us see everything. I recommend it heartily as both a heartbreaking historical fiction novel, but also as a brain teaser.

Contemporary

               For those of you who are not jewish or just don't know when Channukah is, it started last night. Channukah is a Jewish holiday that usually occurs in December and some consider the "jewish version of Christmas." Channukah is all about the past. It celebrates when the Jews fought the greeks with their army, the Maccabees. The battle was long, hard fought and bloody, but in the end the underdog jews overpowered their grecian enemies. However, their beautiful temple was destroyed in an act of sacrilege and there was no way to keep the menorah (a holy candle holder) burning as they had enough oil for just one day, and it would take eight days to get more oil and return to the site of the damaged temple. The miracle of Channukah was that the oil ended up lasting for the whole eight days it took to replenish their supply. We celebrate this miracle today by lighting one candle progressively each night for eight nights. We also eat the oil soaked soifganot or jelly donuts and latkes, or potato pancakes. We play dreidl, eat gelt (chocolate coins) and children receive presents from their elders. Channukah, and Judaism really is all about the past. But it is the idea of an uninhibited future full of possibilities which makes life great. The Maccabees had to look to the future and pray that their oil would last, and when it did, they knew they has endless possibilities for rebuilding the temple. Envisioning these possibilities is what artists and builders do, they take the past and look to the future. For Channukah, I received a book call 50 Contemporary Fashion Designers You Should Know, by Doria Santlofer from my mom. This book encompasses this belief and is extremely interesting and informative.

              

              Couture is fashion that is the epitome of luxury and exaggeration, couture also is all about the past. Legendary design houses such as Givenchy, Jean Paul Gaultiern and Christian Dior comply to the severe demands that a couture design house must have. THese include:

• Design made-to-order for private clients, with one or more fittings.

• Have a workshop (atelier) in Paris that employs at least fifteen people full-time.

• Must have twenty full-time technical people in at least one atelier (workshop).

• Each season (i.e., twice a year), present a collection to the Paris press, comprising at least thirty-five runs/exits with outfits for both daytime wear and evening wear.  

(Wikepedia, the free encyclopedia)


Couture has a rich history but modern couture-esque  designers such as Mary Katrantzou and Giles Deacon have been able to take that luxe, attention to detail and personalization that is what makes couture couture and use it to make more modern pieces that incorporate bold gowns and sensouse fabrics but also use quirky shapes and details such as buttons or emblems to make the piece theirs. Katrantzou in particular is famous for using vintage inspired prints of scenes such as gardens or type writers and combining them with exaggerated bubble skirts or floor length gowns to combine the delicate and precise past with what she envisions for the future. Some people critique this idea saying couture is all about tradition and following specific rules and guidelines. However,  I do not agree. I believe that if couture stayed exactly as it was in the 1950s it would slowly die out and no one would be interested. It is a challenge to find new ways to do couture and I feel that the only way is to move forward in design.
         

The Perfect Summer

       When Zachary Beaver Came To Town    by Kimberly Willis Holt is about a thirteen year old boy named Toby and one life changing summer. Toby lives in Antler the, "boring-est town in the world." And he can't wait for summer. But even though school has let out Toby still has some troubles, despite the care free warm months he imagined. Among them are his best friend Cal's brother Wayne, who joined the army, whether the "amazing" Scarlet Stalling will ever like him, if his mom is ever going to come home and the self proclaimed "fattest boy in the world," Zachary Beaver.

       Toby, though he thinks of himself as normal, helps many people in small ways that add up to something greater. And the way he does this is even more impressive. For even though Toby has a lot on his mind, he manages to overcome his own feelings in order to give someone the help that they need. For example, Toby has a huge thing for Scarlet Stalling, but when her ex-boyfriend Juan comes dejectedly asking for help, he orchestrates a rendezvous between Scarlet and Juan to get them back together. I think this is because Toby recognizes that Scarlet will never like him in that way, and that she does however like Juan. Toby wants Scarlet to be happy, so he does the thing that will make her (not him) happy. Its a selfless guesture, but one Toby has resigned himself to. And because of this, he can't enjoy their happiness, he gets no reward, furthering his suspicion that life will never let him have the one chance at a perfect summer.

          Another example is Toby and Zachary. Toby and his friend Cal were pushed together with Zachary by the town Sheriff, but they began to genuinely like Zachary. Yet, Zachary has been nothing but abrupt and mean to Toby and Cal. I infer that this is because he is not used to people actually wanting to do things with him and does not know how to act around Toby and Cal, or because he suspects that they actually do not want to hang out with him, but are being forced to. Its easier to push someone away then to let them in and get hurt. Sure you might never have a real relationship but you will also never get hurt. However, despite Zachary's grumbling and insults, Toby still helps Zachary get Baptized, a lifelong goal of his. I think that Toby recognizes Zachary's fear of people actually liking him, because he has no one who ever has, his parents died. Toby wants to make Zachary see that people can be good and that Zachary isn't just a lonely freak.

           Toby also helps people in seemingly small ways,when he plays catch with the old crazy Judge, he furtively steps forward so that the Judge can catch the ball, making the Judge smile for once in a long time. Toby also writes letters to Wayne in the army, pretending to be Cal so that Wayne will get the news of home that he asks for as Cal refuses to write to Wayne. Toby sees what people need and helps them, but he cannot help himself. The one problem Toby hasn't solved is how to deal with his mothers absence.

         Toby's mom Opalina, went to Austin to win a country singing contest. Toby doesn't know how to deal with her absence, and his touchy on-edge dad. Toby doesn't know how to help himself out of the mess that is closest to home, even though he can help everyone else. This often happens with oneself, its easy to see everyone else's problems if you try hard enough, and helping them comes naturally to Toby. The problem is, he can't see his own problem, can't identify it, so he can't solve it.

           Control is a tricky thing. It is something that many desire, but it is also something you can never truly have. Life is always going to change, there are always more surprises and variables out there. The world is fraught with distrust and imperfections but its the only reason to live. Toby thinks he didn't have the perfect summer because all of his carefully controlled plans didn't work out. But what if it was? When Toby stands at the edge of the pond, sopping wet and muddy, he says "There is a rip in my pants, just where they always ripped and Mama used to fix them, and I know she never will. But when I look around and see the ways the sun looks on the water, I feel for once like I am happy."

Child Soldiers: Perpetrators or Victims?

            "I will cut them.” Says Tanzi Bakenzi, 16. He is referring to the Lord’s Resistance Army, a rebel uprising that terrorizes civilians, burning houses and smashing skulls. Tanzi is what is known as a child soldier. Child soldiers are armed servicemen who are under 18, and are a widespread problem across the world. Found on every continent accept for Antarctica, child soldiers are boys and girls, their ages average at just under 13 with the youngest on record being a 5 year old boy. One of the many ethical dilemmas on the issue of child soldiers is: are child soldiers victims or perpetrators (a victim being a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action and a perpetrator being someone who willfully carries out a harmful action)? While some people may argue that child soldiers are perpetrators because they kill people and many choose to stay in fighting after a certain war ends, child soldiers are victims because they are manipulated into service and exploited while serving, as well as sustaining trauma that lasts for years.

              Many say that child soldiers are perpetrators of violence, but most of them never would have been involved in armies if not for the deceit and forcefulness of others. A large number of child soldiers were forcibly abducted or tricked into service, not by their own choice. In the article “Children at War” by P.W. Singer, a sixteen-year-old child soldier proves this point by saying, “the rebels came and attacked us. They killed my mother and father in front of my eyes. I was 10 years old and they took me with them.” The soldier did not have good judgment, as he had just seen his parents get murdered, and was not even asked to use it. Instead he was abducted. Ishmael Beah, although not abducted was tricked into joining up, according his video interview. Beah’s parents had died due to the war and he was on the run with a band of boys in the same situation. As he says “Naturally we thought if we went to a military base we would be protected… that was not the case.” Instead the militants told them they had to go into service. If Beah and ­­­­­­­­the anonymous soldier had not been deceived or forced to enlist, they would not have fought in their respective wars, proving they were victims.

                 After child soldiers have been forced into the army, the manipulation does not end. Child soldiers are victims because while in service they are exploited and brainwashed to be killers. Ishmael Beah attests to this in his video interview with Katy Couric when he says, “You have to do it {kill} to survive.” In order to be a perpetrator Beah would have had to kill others of his own free will, instead his life was threatened by his superiors unless he slaughtered others for them. Beah was a soldier in South America, but the manipulation of child soldiers who have nowhere to go and have to comply with their commander’s wishes exists across the world. In the article “Armed and Underage” by Jeffery Gettleman, in Iran “12-16 year old boys {were given} plastic ‘keys to heaven’ to hang around their necks as they cleaned battle fields.” This proves that child soldiers were victims as the army knew the children could and probably would die, and tricked them into thinking they would go to heaven if they fought for the Iranian army. Child soldiers were used in armies around the world, tricked and manipulated by forces above them, showing they were victims.

                   Child soldiers are exploited and deceived during their service, but their suffering does not end after they have left the army. Instead, underage soldiers are traumatized and battered by their deeds and experiences. A fact that supports this is stated in “Children at War” by PW Singer, “For the child soldiers, the impact of being plunged into war creates problems long after the end of actual combat. Many suffer long term trauma….” Singer, who wrote a book of the same title, is an expert on this topic. He states that due to his research, these children have been victimized and they are perhaps permanently scarred by their service.  Also in “Children at War,” Singer states “girl soldiers are often singled out for sexual abuse, even by their commanders and have a harder time integrating back into society.” These female soldiers are definitely victims of sexual abuse, but as soldiers they are also victims because they retain trauma and often have a hard time fitting back into society. Ishmael Beah says that it took him eight months recover from his time in the army and that it may take some soldiers even more time. There is no way these children were perpetrators as they have been so hurt by their service.

                  To conclude, child soldiers are not perpetrators, but victims of a terrible experience. They are deceived and forced into service in the first place, once in the army they are exploited and threatened to do deeds that some say they perpetrate, and they sustain long lasting trauma after the fighting is over. These children did not bring such a life upon themselves; they were victims of their countries’ crimes. And although Ishmael Beah and other soldiers have been rescued from the endless cycle of killing, drugs and madness, many remain. Unawares of the public, these children are still being victimized. So I challenge you to raise awareness and hold the real perpetrators accountable for the exploitation of these kids.

                     

Elementary My Dear Watson

                   As a wise woman once said, "life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you might get." I guess the same goes for books because I did not figure on reading half of the things that I do. For example, today I began reading A Study In Scarlet by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Or a you plebeians might understand, a Sherlock Holmes book. This is the first Sherlock Holmes book both in chronology and in my reading life. My parents have always tried to get me to read the Sherlock Holmes series, indeed my mom pre-downloaded  A Study In Scarlet to my birthday present, a kindle (on which to read Sherlock Holmes, presumably). I put off the reading as long as I could but was accosted by the awful fate of having nothing to read except for the dreaded book. However, as I said before, "you never know what you might get" because I LOVED it. The book was witty, challenging to read, introduced me to new vocabulary and the story was fascinating. I was worried about many things that classics are prone to include, such as flowery paragraph-long descriptions of a chair and other equally non-central objects, slow paced plot lines and overly cautious and wordy dialogue that holds a challenge for the impatient mind of a teenager. However the descriptions were brief and succinct, the plot line was fast paced with the murderer found in around 100 pages, and the dialogue exciting and short. To speak briefly, it was a surprise that the book was enjoyable.
                     Not only was it enjoyable, it was also relatable. The book is told from the perspective of Dr. Watson, a seemingly staid man who finds adventure with the insane Sherlock Holmes and begins to escape from his mundane and painful life as a listless army casualty of the Afgan war. They meet on a quest for a house and end up roommates of sorts. The story between the two friends is relatable, as no one that I know solves murders in 1800s London. Sherlock Holmes is the crazy friend who is always niggling you into doing outlandish things and often embarrassing yourself in public, but he always gets you out unscathed and ready for the next adventure. I have friends like that, and to some people I am that friend. All the Sherlock Holmes of the world do is get you out of your comfort zone. And at the end of the day you've had fun in their crazy carefree whirlwind of a life. However, the fact that they can all of this and survive while you worry yourself with the repercussions is sometimes annoying, as Watson complains about cleaning up Holmes' messes. So the book was also relatable making it an easier way.
                     The friendship between Watson and Holmes was not just relatable, but a key factor in this first book. Conan Doyle is setting up the two companions for a long haul in the books to come, so establishing their friendship was one of the main purposes of this first book, I infer. Murder is a messy business and trust is key to any working relationship. There's a reason people synchronize watches, its to be on the same page, and that's what needs to happen with Watson and Holmes. So Doyle establishes their friendship subtly, as real friendships are made as well. First it starts with accepting the friendship, this happens when Watson sticks with Holmes when the crime is discovered. Watson has been at war, he has seen horrible things and doesn't need to be around more killing, but he sticks by Holmes, showing that he knows that Holmes needs him as much as vice versa. The second point is when Watson backs Holmes up with a gun, again the war has traumatized Watson but he is willing to look past that and roll with the adventure. I can see their friendship growing stronger throughout the books.
                      All in all, sir Arthur Conan Doyle has created a timeless masterpiece of fiction that I'm so glad that I read. Both the lack of values that I dislike in classic and the relatable budding friendship between Watson and Holmes make it exciting. Bring me the next one!

Writing About On Writing

                     Right now I am reading the fascinating and highly accoladed book "On Writing" by acclaimed horror author extraordinaire Stephen King. Now this was an interesting book to read because I, personally have not read any of Stephen Kings 35 books or numerous short stories. Instead it was recommended to me on the pretense of being a book about writing, and a memoir of sorts combined into a stellar piece of literature that would enrich my own craft without having to know how King used his tips in his own work at all. So I picked it up curious, was it going to be one of those boring books that lectured own about grammar and the importance of showing and not telling in prose, despite my teachers assurance that it was entertaining? The book, to Ms. Cunningham's charging was not boring or in the least bit preaching about the importance of mechanics in novels or any other piece of writing Mr. King has created. In fact it didn't start off as a book about writing at all (at least not obviously). Which made it much easier to absorb and get into the many layers of knowledge being imparted unto me through the paper (an act that King later elaborates {see 4}). And I learned many gold nuggets of information that I related to and seemed extremely relevant to my point in my writing life:

1. Inspiration comes in many forms, do not refute any as being unworthy
                     Stephen King describes his muse as a " guy with  the cigar and the little wings" who has got a "bag of magic." He says that you have to descend to the muse's level and furnish his "apartment" for him, doing all of the so called "grunt work." But apparently, in the end its worth it because the stuff inside the little bag is life changing. He says that there is always something to dig up and turn into something actually worth writing, that inspiration comes in many forms. This spoke to me because I have a picky mind. I have so much trouble free writing because I shoot down ideas as they develop as being unworthy and boring. My notebooks are full of stories that take up one page and then abruptly drop off, turning from a historical fiction tale of a girl to a humorous biopic of a made up superhero or something simarly bizarre. But if you take King's word for law, then you have to realize that with work every single story can be turned into something interesting a worthwhile if you stick with it, dig deeper into it and find the good that made your muse hand it to you in the first place. King felt this way with one of his novels, Carrie, he says he threw it out after three pages but his wife convinced him it was good and he expanded it. It was his breakthrough novel.

2.Don't force your writing to be something its not
                   Often times, in school you are exposed to your peer's writing. It may be as an example of something to work towards or it may be an example of something not to do. Either way, it affects how you see your own work. For me, when I read other people's work thats REALLY good, I aspire to be like them, I try to write like them, to add in little mechanisms they use to make my own work better because they are the definition of better. It often happens, for me, with vocabulary. I force myself to find a more "advanced" word like solicitous instead of plain old friendly to make my writing seem better. However, Stephen King says that you shouldn't try to dress up your writing in fancy words or extra details, if you mean to say walk, say walk. He explains that for him, writing should flow, you shouldn't need to stop and say "is this a good enough word?" All in all, I interpreted this as, if its what flows from your fingers, don't over analyze or try to change it, because then it stops being yours.

3. Use what you see in everyday life as an inspiration for the fantastic
                 Stephen King is a master of horror, his books (according to those who read them) are terrifying gruesome and all together... horrific. But I'll bet you none of this stuff happened to him in real life. So where does King get his inspiration from? According to his book, all of it comes from building off of things that have happened to him in everyday life. For example, one story he wrote about a man who counterfeited trading stamps came from the image of his mother, tongue green from licking such stamps. King makes you know that writers, especially those who write fantasy or horror, should remember their childhoods, pay attention to their present and make sure that everything around them can be spun into something extraordinary. This was relevant to me because sometimes I lack the inspiration to write or draw or even dance. Reminding me that some episode as small as dropping a quarter into a subway grate and wondering where it went could be turned into a whole novel about money being fed into a machine that mints it for the government. A conspiracy book from an everyday incident. The world seems mundane at times, but comes alive when you appreciate what awesome material you have to work with.

4. Writing is telepathy
               Although this isn't a technique or a "gold nugget" of info that will help me write better stories, it made me appreciate writing more and art more in general. And with this added respect for the craft, I feel as though in some ways I will be able to do better work. Stephen King proves that writing is like telepathy, and also a bit like time travel in my opinion, he wrote this book in the late '90s yet he is putting thoughts into my brain all the way in 2012. When he describes a scene involving a red chair, a green apple and a white wall, I picture something thats pretty similar to what he probably imagined. Writing is timeless, as long as you can read information is traveling from a different time to you. It is also traveling from a different mind to yours, the definition of telepathy. Respecting this fact can make you understand more that the reader is only seeing what you see, the telepathy is only working, if you describe the scene or object in the appropriate way, it doesn't have to be lengthy but understand, King explains, that you are transporting an image.

               I started off unsure of whether I wanted to read this book, much less wanting to get so much information from it. But it was a blessing in disguise, this book is definitely improving how I write, but also giving me more respect and confidence in writing.

In other words, thank you Ms. Cunningham.

Collateral

                 When I was eight years old, I got sent to a different world. My mom kissed my cheek, told me I was going to be fine and left me in front of the door. This gateway, portal sucked me in with the spoken words, "Shalom Rachel!" And so began what I felt like was a dual life. It didn't matter that this world was across the street from my school or that it physically existed on planet Earth, in Park Slope, Brooklyn NY. I seemed to leave Zoe Fruchter behind whenever i transversed the boundary that seemed to surround PSJC, my other world. The temple (PSJC) made me feel small, the sheer weight of religion and tradition bore down on my eight-year-old shoulders like a yolk. I had a different name, Rachel, a different family, Yonina, Yakov and Leah and different friends and teachers. The food was different, kosher, the customs were different, even the alphabet was different. In my other world I was Zoe Fruchter, daughter of Lev and Jill sister of Ella. In my other world I was smart, in this one I could not read or write. In my other world I had friends, I was outgoing and I prospered like a flower bathed in sun synthesizing all information and experiences, with all of the materials I needed. Here I was minuscule, unimportant, an outsider who nibbled on fake Oreos in the bathroom because there was no one to play with. I was a flower in the winter, isolated, devoid of my societal nessecities bending under the weight of the frost. The two places were so different I distinguished them as separate universes.
                     Religion is odd like that, it makes you unsure of who you are, of why you even exist on this planet. Of whether you even have any power to change who you are the actions you take in your life. Religion makes you question all that you once held certain in your life. Judaism gave me a new name, language and culture. Later I would learn how to integrate these things into pre-existing life, but at eight it felt uncannily like I changed every time I kissed the mezuzah on the arched doorway and entered hebrew school.
                 Hannah, in A Time Of Angels by K. Hesse is weighed down by her religion. Growing up in plague ridden Boston at the time of World War II, Hannah is weighed down enough as it is. She pretends to be a boy as to keep a job as a paper boy (adolescents who hawked news headlines in order to sell periodicals to the public), evading the groping hands of her supervisors and waking up at dawn to provide for her haphazard family consisting of her beloved sisters Libbie, Eve, her Tanta (aunt) Rose and Rose's companion of sorts Vashti. Hannah mothers her sisters in spite of hardworking Rose's insistence that she leave it to Vashti, who Hannah believes to be "like a buzzard" or parasite that sucks the life out of everything that she knows to be good about the narrow world that is all that Hannah knows.
                However, Vashti is not the worst thing out in Hannah's world, influenza is a threat much worse than any one person and when Hannah's cherished Tanta and sisters fall prey to it, Hannah is left alone with Vashti, the one person in there family who is selfless enough to send Hannah away from flu riddled Boston, to the country where the plague cannot touch her no matter how much her blood family pleads for her to stay with them. When you love someone, it is the hardest to let them go. You want them so badly that you cannot send them away, even though it is the very pinnacle of love: letting go.
                  So Hannah is alone, on a train to be entrusted into the care of a strange family, she turns to her faith her religion. The fact that it was so hard for her to do this. She "wrestled with the unknown force, whose magnitude of decision and aftermath seemed of greatest weight and caused the greatest of terrors to a girl who survived only by focusing on the path just in front of her."She is torn because her closest person, her aunt told her to pray to God for deliverance but Hannah is not sure if she can. By choosing to accept religion, you are choosing to accept that you are not in control of your life anymore. Hannah has survived her harsh world purely relying on her own wits and talents, to give up this control is like betting your life on something. You are completely at a loss for jurisdiction concerning yourself, but you have something to blame when things go wrong.
                   Hannah is at a loss for what to do, she wants to respect Tanta Rose's memorie but cannot bring herself to relinquish her firm belief that she can decide her fate. But subconsciously, she transcends into a dream world. She begins to see angels everywhere saying "powers once unknown to me now look like the works of a phantom hand, one that cradled Tanta Rose..." in other words, God. Hannah describes her acceptance of a higher power and joining a new society and seeing a new world. I think that Hannah had to completely let go of what she had known before in order to survive her present. The past was weighing her down. And the idea of religion was weighing her down because it was bonded with the past. Yet be releasing her past as the thing that shaped her essence of self, she could embrace a belief that could lift her away from her loss.
                  So although I am not sure whether I have accepted God I understand what Hannah means when she describes religion being a different world. Its such a controversial and relative thing, the cause of so many conflicts, yet some say it heals. Its something so different from everything else that it becomes, in a sense, a different existence.