My first memory is from when I was two years old. It was when my sister was born. It wasn't that I was there at the birth, it was that my Aunt had come down from the apartment she rented upstairs to come and take care of me as my parents brought my sister into the world. All that I remember is a flash of a picture, just a snapshot of a bowl of the spinach-y mixture (I later found out it was quiche) and my hand on the wooden spoon, pudgy fingers gripping hard.That was in 2001. Somehow, 11 years later, I still remember that moment, among all other moments both before and for after that. Why? Why that flash?
The past has so much to do with our present, and therefore our future. The past, whether it be a minute ago or 20 years, is prevalent in our decisions and lives. Life is not like an essay, we are not given specific resources that tell us what to do.The thing is, the past is all of the back ground information we have on life. So we have to rely on it in order to base our life on anything.
The past is always on the mind of characters in books. Books are usually centered on a change that has happened in the main character's life, that's what makes books worth reading. In many of the books I have read recently, getting beyond the past which ties them down and becoming ready for the future or breaks them free. For although the past is a valuable resource, we can dwell on it too much. I found this theme in Between Shades of Gray, Looking for Alaska and The Secret Life of Bees.
In Between Shades of Gray, the past and present and the foreseeable future are so different that the contrast is startling. Between Shades of Gray is a story about a girl named Lina growing up under the rule of Stalin in Lithuania. Lina and her family (Brother Jonas, Mother Elena and Father Kostas) live a rich and happy life in Lithuania. Kostas is a professor and makes enough money to keep them all happy. Lina is pursuing what looks to be a successful career in art and Jonas chases bugs out of the house instead of killing them. Then the deportations begin. Lina, Jonas and Elena are separated from Kostas and deported first to a forced labor camp and then to Siberia to supposedly die; in trains marked "thieves and prostitutes."Lina's past and her present are so strikingly different that it seems they were from different lifetimes. Because of Lina's present situation, she frequently thinks about the past. She describes delicious meals to herself when she is starving in Siberia. She draws as if she still has that freedom. But both of these things just make her present situation worse when she feels more hungry and the guards catch her drawing. Lina feels that the only way she can survive is by living in the past which dulls the present. What Lina doesn't realize is that the contrast only grows stronger and that she cannot survive that way. Lina needs to stop dwelling on the past if she is to survive the present and future.
The dichotomy between past and present is also evident in the book Looking for Alaska by John Green. The book centers on a boy named Miles. Miles enrolls in the boarding school Culver Creek to set out to find the "Great Perhaps." Miles meets new friends, trouble makers Colenel and Tamiki and the beautiful Alaska. Miles falls in with them and soon acts just like them, smoking, pranking and having fun all the time. However, Miles is forgetting his past. He forgets his former loser-like existence at home and how he used to be more shy, more reserved, less impulsive. In forgetting this former side of himself he doesn't realize how much heartbreak and trouble he is getting into falling for Alaska Young. Sure she's hilarious and sexy, but she's dangerous and moody. If Miles had held on to a little bit more of his former judgement and reserve he would have realized a little of what he was getting into and maybe not have been so hurt and surprised when it fell apart.
A third example of how the past really affects the future is in the historical fiction novel, the Secret Life of Bees. The Secret Life of Bees is about a girl named Lily who, when her black substitute mother Rosaleen insults some of the worst racists in town, finds the opportunity to run away from her abusive father. She is guided by some objects her mother left behind to the Boatwright sisters in Tiburon South Carolina. The Boatwright sisters help her to find the truth about the death of her real mother and she finds a home with them. Lily has been haunted all of her life by her mother's death, how she might have accidentally caused it and why it happened at all. It is only when Lily comes to terms with her mother's past which surrounds her at the Boatwright home, that she becomes truly content with herself and finds herself a home which feels right to her. When Lily was living with her father, she spent all of her time restless with the present and unsure about her future. Sometimes, reflecting on the past helps to steady the future.
The past affects the future, whether you need to reflect on it more, or dwell on it less which is a difficult balance to maintain. So I don't know why I still remember making the quiche and I'd like to figure out why someday, but I'm not going to dwell on it too much, there's still life out there to live!
No comments:
Post a Comment